Disruption - A Distraction Illusion?

I know, I know, before I even begin, I can agree with you that:

1. Have no idea how I came up with that title;

2. Not sure if I manage to say what I think I want to say; and

3. All of the above.

It has been a long while since I got on with the business of:

1. Shooting noteworthy photographs (in the span of time since my daughter joins my little world and expands it immensely, I have discovered that I have taken 1 (read: one) non-baby photograph, and that is not even posted at all here...

2. Covering banal observations of the world around me; and

3. All of the above.

OMG.

Have I just committed myself to a repeating robot that is slowly but surely degenerating to the level of communicating in numerically led sentences?

Perhaps I have turned into an inward, self-fascinated mother / discoverer / fluctuating sugar level hungry homo sapien / sporadic sleep satisfied / deliriously in love with baby smiles blogger that used to have a career out of annoying locals around South Asia to North Asia, spanning across to the Centrals and back to the Middle East?

And after all that, I still found myself torn between upgrading to a spanking Nikon D3 or Canon 5D Mark II, or should we forward to adding an 's' and another 'I' if you are into that sort of drift. I am still blissfully ignorant in committing to a decision between Lightroom and Aperture. I was so out of touch that I forgot they don't even stock the boxes in-store anymore and I can get free 30-day trial online. Go Steve Jobs, R.I.P.!

All right I will confess - I did have coffee and wine today.

Anyway, it is one of those crazy weeks just when you sort out a plan, it is time to toss it out of the window again. One thing I learn about my motherhood is that when you think you have scraped the bottom of the barrel, you always amaze yourself that you never realise that depth of patience you have in you just seem to surface and stop you from running out of the house, hollering on top of both lungs in a fashion akin to an angry elephant shot on the ass with some painful red dart that hangs around with that annoying red feather ending...

And when I could not think beyond one day and am bravely putting one foot ahead of another like a bound captive making her way down the plank above shark-infested waters, I flick up the iPhone and am reminded again...

... of all the reasons that this is so damn worthwhile.

 So which ale should I go for this round?

I love you mama, thank you for making my butter banana custard saute... YUM! 

 Oh the tummy? No worries, I did 400 crunches before breakfast this morning!

What My Daughter Taught Me

It has been an exciting period for Myla and me as she is growing exceptionally fast each day. Every night brings forward another day of precious sharing with my little girl being big and generous with her smiles and plenty of vocalisation regarding her letting me be aware of each and every of her feeling and emotion.

What amazes me is the very consideration that this little being is strongly in tune with her wants and she unashamedly asks for what she deems as crucial for her well being, moment to moment, unrelentingly consistent and assured.

I read amongst my books that part of her communication development at this stage includes her working our how to relate using her face, body language and babble. It does not matter that she does not speak English yet, she expects herself to be perfectly understood. Her feelings can be clearly seen in her facial expressions and body language.

Also I was taught that until she is much older, maybe even as a preschooler, she does not know how to "fake it" - all emotions are pure.

That struck me as being the strongest validation of a child's trust in you.

Of course I think she is my perfect child. My "perfect" child does have her beautiful days of brilliant smiles, coos, and hugs. She, my "perfect" child has her episodes of inconsolable cries, her 5-minute ritual vent before being tucked to bed, her temperamental decision regarding bath time. My "perfect" Myla is always happy to welcome me after waking up, she cries for me when she dreams a shade too muddy for her liking. My "perfect" little baby loves the world around her, dives into every exploration with full passion. She is indeed, an extremely perfect example of living life as it was thrown at you once.

In the best, most full on, no depth untouched, degree.

As we grow into adults, somewhere along the years passing one another, we seem to have lost the finesse of communicating earnestly. We mask our feelings. We hide our intentions. We edit our words. We correct our thoughts. We deny our instincts. We resist living bravely. It is life lived as one big masquerade ball.

Between lovers, parent and child, boss and employee, in-laws and the Law, we all somehow got more comfortable working along the lines of blurriness, we preferred to walk on the path of the common even though it took us down the wrongly navigated direction.

A child, at this stage, incorruptible and valiant in her effort to be understood, taught me the critical talent of speaking your truth.

That itself, is courage in all nakedness, and all its brilliance shone above the discolouration that I had somehow, crawled myself out from, each and every time I look at her.

A Letter To My Grandparents

This is what a good morning looks like!

We had our first road trip to Melbourne last week!

And I am mighty proud to say that I had done 2,300km in total cuteness and coolness. Played lots of "coo-coo" games with mama while papa was a hero behind the wheels. We stopped a few times on the way past the smaller coastal road and spent one night at Eden (half-way point on day one already!) and the next just off Wilsons Promontory before arriving in Melbourne, bringing in the sunshine.

I must say that we learned a lot more about how big this country can be. Although we didn't stop to spot any migrating whales, I was told they had calves as cute but a lot bigger than me, swimming with their mummies back to the colder waters. Mama named and fed two magpies, which we like to remember as "Max" and "Maddie" but I was totally blown away by how noisy the galahs, cockatoos and rozellas can be, yet none came close to the ferocious greediness of the parakeets when we put out the seeds for their brekkie. Papa reckoned he couldn't have found a better morning alarm with the bell birds although at first, we thought they gave off a weird shrill around the forests surrounding our cabin. Air was fresh, the food even better, and I was a real trouper once we reached Melbourne and stayed the first couple of nights at my Auntie Vinnu and Uncle David's home at Thornbury.

Getting Myla started on the dirt with super-sizing...

Myla and her papa, enjoying an arty moment there

Location: Cafe Comme

We had some super smacking dinner although I remembered I had to have an improvised bed to go to sleep on, hence I was really tired and gobbled up my dinner in no time. The daylight savings adjustment did little to upset me but I suspected it confused mama a little. We hung around a bit with Auntie Vinnu teaching (and reminding papa again) me a few of the old Tamil rhymes - plenty of fun but I found the little crab crawling game a bit too ticklish! We got along really well with Buddy, their adopted Kelpie cross Doberman and mama even successfully took him out for an energetic walk!

Oh yes, I took my first train ride too! The three of us took a real traditional family outing down town with papa showing off to his favourite girls some Melbourne haunts for the delights on the palate. We went to a really spanking Italian joint and thought it was a tad unfair that mama and papa devoured two baskets of those freshly baked olive bread while I had to settle with a bottle of milk! Anyway, I was happy that they made it up by taking me to a cafe for my first indulgence in the swanky cafe scene and I did feel quite adult sharing notes with papa about the gallery of paintings in-house. All these got me a bit tired and I decided to snuggle back to mama's arms for a snooze.

We took a nice walk towards the Federation Square and I could hear mama and papa laughing on about the funnier jokes of the day, and marveling at the wonderful mix of the classical and modern architecture that cut through the city's skyline. It's nice once a while that mama and papa get a bit of "non-baby" moments, don't you think? But not too much though, I miss them both and want to be in the action as much as possible!

Did you say Rudolph?

We went to visit Auntie Cath and Uncle Adam to see how they are doing with Lachie at Point Cook. I fell asleep during the drive but we had a whale of a day as I manage to squeeze out a big bag of poo once we arrived, haha! On this trip, I must say I kept mama very busy with the feeds and filling up the bags, fulfilling her suspicion of my being a high achiever in the department of emptying the bottles and filling up the nappies. Auntie Cath made a wonderful lunch but we were concerned that Uncle Adam pulled his back and he had to lie down next to Lachie on the floor... for a second I thought he was made to do tummy time too!

After another night of getting tucked into bed after a nice bath in Auntie Vinnu's big bath tub, mama and papa relaxed over a nicely (hot!) cooked chicken curry with the yoghurt thrown in and plenty of oiled rice (papa ate too much that night) before we had to say our goodbyes over roasty smells of freshly ground coffee at brekkie. We had to move over to Auntie Sonia and Uncle Dorian's place at Preston as there were earlier promised guests coming over at Thornbury. Yay, I got to play with Zai and Kavi, plus meeting another moggie, Ibra!

Did I say that they had a veggie garden which Auntie Sonia cooked plenty of yummy vegetarian food for us and mama took me out to play with two big chooks? I told mama that I want to have a garden just like that too. That night I slept very well as papa bathed me nicely and Zai gave her bedroom over to us. I loved to play with Zai because she's heaps of energetic bright fun. We went to the Melbourne Zoo and it was a very brave thing for the adults to do since it's school holidays. Mama conquered the mad queue on the way out to buy me my first singlet with an elephant mascot, I love you mama!

Over the two days, mama and papa again were spoilt with gourmet home cooked vegetarian meals and a picnic at that. Thrown into the picture were couple of good bottles shared amongst the adults but I suspected they hid the bacci ice cream from us kids! In the end, after many a nappy change and even more milk bottles, it was time to say farewell to them, but not without a promise to visit each other for annual camping trips. I love to see Zai and Kavi again because they are such cool friends.

On our way back we took the inland highway and stopped overnight at Yass. I was a perfect little girl and went to bed after a prompt shower. Yes, you read right. Since we booked last minute in this wonderful property surrounding a lake with noisy alpacas running in meadows of glistening green and pink cherry blossom trees, we got a room without a bath. So mama and papa decided to take me into the shower with them and you will be so proud to know that I wasn't scared when the water from the shower head lightly sprayed onto my cute little face. After getting changed into another wooly jumper, I joined mama and papa at the lounge to experience my first fire place. Wonderful canapes were served and the adults got a complimentary glass of Merlot from the winery nearby. Did you know one of the world's best known Riesling judge and cultivator is just a couple of kilometres away from us at the Helm's Winery? Heard mama and papa whispering that this will not be the last time we'll be coming back, oh I hope we get the spa suite next time because I really like to go swimming in the big bath!

By the next day, we drove home to unpack and relax. Mama was a super woman in cleaning up all the laundry, garden and even got me back into my routine while papa went grocery shopping to make sure our kitchen was well stocked up. I was already quite tired by the time papa picked up Tommy and Chewy at their dog resort stay. We laughed at their report card because apparently they made best mates with another Jack Russell Terrier cross, with lying in the sun their next favourite activity.

We had such a wonderful getaway and with so much happening, I really was in need to have a nice rest before the new week. So I got to sign off now, mama will be getting me up for a dream feed soon and I want to be a good girl and finish off my milk to go back to sleep again.

Love lots, Myla