Where Would You Be This Year?

Thanks to Nap. Hill, I want to ask you to join me in examining ourselves carefully and solemnly fill that glass with your brew, straighten your elf jacket, tip your hat forward, and toast to yourself to banish at least one if not all of these alibis that do nothing but limit our fullest potential in the next 365 days. Just think, imagine, the things you can do if you just stop believing these rubbish!

IF I didn't have a partner and family...
IF I had enough "pull"...
IF I had money...
IF I had a good education...
IF I could get a job...
IF I had good health...
IF I only had time...
IF times were better...
IF other people understood me...
IF conditions around me were only different...
IF I could live my life over again...
IF I did not fear what "They" would say...
IF I had been given a chance...
IF I now had a chance...
IF other people didn't "have it in for me"...
IF nothing happens to stop me...
IF I were only younger...
IF I could only do what I want...
IF I had been born rich...
IF I could meet "the right people"...
IF I had the talent that some people have...
IF I dared assert myself...
IF I only had embraced past opportunities...
IF people didn't get on my nerves...
IF I didn't have to keep house and look after the children...
IF I could save some money...
IF the boss only appreciated me...
IF I only had somebody to help me...
IF my family understood me...
IF I lived in a big city...
IF I could just get started...
IF I were only free...
IF I had the personality of some people...
IF I were not so far...
IF my talents were known...
IF I could just get a "break"...
IF I could only get out of debt...
IF I hadn't failed...
IF I only knew how...
IF everybody didn't oppose me...
IF I didn't have so many worries...
IF I could marry the right person...
IF people weren't so dumb...
IF my family were not so extravagant...
IF I were sure of myself...
IF luck were not against me...
IF I had not been born under the wrong star...
IF it were not true that "what is to be will be"...
IF I did not have to work so hard...
IF I hadn't lost my money...
IF I lived in a different neighbourhood...
IF I didn't have a "past"...
IF I only had a business of my own...
IF other people would only listen to me...
IF _____ and this is the greatest of them all...

Gee, don't you get tired even just reading those excuses? And we all get a choice to not listen to ourselves making it anymore. Start today, make a positive difference for yourself.

You deserve that much.

Australia, We Have Static!

Wakey sunshine! The world's waiting...

Contact, that's.

I woke up peering out of a little fancy window that only commercial aircrafts admitting cattle-class ticket holders could bestow and saw the cutest rows of cauliflower clouds lining the bluest sky painted by the hands of heavens. A globe of gold cascaded like warm lava, bathing the early hours of our new home. My hair was ridiculously all over my face (no matter how hard I tried to brush them off) as I realised that this was going to be a new set of rules to things operating around me, including keeping my hair under control!

Get ready mates! This part of the adventure has just begun...

Hidden Gems

As with all great mass movements since the epoch of science, things never really go according to a schedule. Sure, the animals and the winds are tuned to the magnetic and unseen draw of the forces that basically keep our planet in an upright position but Homo Sapiens never really gained an entry into that exclusive membership. So what do we do?

Improvise.

You can plan and get hung up by a thousand and one details and still arrive at the point of "duh!" because there will be (that I guarantee you) that one thing which somehow just escaped your radar - even if it was a badly timed and newly grown toe nail that went a milimetre too deep. I, on the other hand, prefer to keep my thousand and one to the Arabian Nights. Mind you, most of us, me included, succumbed easily to the wave of obsession with details and it took me a great deal to wean myself off that dependency. In turn, I focused on the urgent when everything (like anything) seemed important and I separated the real issues from the projected "what if"s.

Results?

You can more time (yes, believe it!) to pause when your little cousin-in-law gave you a hand-made card with strict instructions to only open it with a smile when you're on the plane, to bask in the heart-warming smiles and innocent honesty when they marveled at the flowered hair clip you had on your hair (to them, it's a big fashion statement, even if it meant as a last minute resort to you because all your other clips had grown legs and ran off), to be thankful that you didn't miss a moment of goodbye as you looked back at the taped video messages and the heartfelt phone calls from those far, and to realise albeit all the goods, bads, and warts, your family turned up to make sure that when you take that crucial step into the unknown beyond, you will always have a gathered scene of love, unity and heck, people missing and thinking about you when you look back from the boarding gate. And you for once, am glad for Skype because it's just such a cool way to stay connected live!

So, for one who's never good at blatant emotional goodbyes, I pretended to not say farewell. It's just a longer trip out and we're staking a claim of our own out in this little place. Journeys are like forked junctions, a toss of coin, a flip of a page. To not drag myself into a melancholy, here's a sneak into the packing process - fun, intense, messy, indecisive, and finally, that blessed sound of the zipper announcing all that can be done, is done.

At this point, I was totally relieved that at least one item is in the bag!

Nearly There...

If you like to live your life by the edge of tattered pages (usually torn out by distressed hands driven by a high over-consumption of caffeine) then read on!

(1) Leave all and I mean, lock, stock and barrel of your important (this will mean you should get onto the wrong side of civil liberty if you choose to ignore your civil responsibilities) documentations that have any nano significance to do with the Ministry of Tax / Provident Funds / Stock trading proceeds / Banking / Nominations / Insurance (okay, some of the latter ones could mean you just get into more of the same situation that we call in loving exasperation "deep shit" when either a document goes missing / misplaced / sent to the wrong address / lost / and all your worst imagination come true;

(2) Get into the government offices during peak hour traffic on the last remaining working days of the year and only to run the lucky draw of having them experiencing a "technical down time" which renders the hard work you had put through to fight for a parking spot and waddled your way through the snaking queues to yesterday's dog dust;

(3) Or you could be cheeky and try to do most of your last minute account detail changing work WHILE you are on holiday in another state because you think that in the modern 21st Century, "everything should link up right?";

(4) Refer to item (3) and to be told that they need to charge you an additional RM10 even though you are withdrawing from your own account with all the documentation because they need to fax through a copy of your signature and oh, did we tell you that you need to return in the afternoon because we have to go for our lunch time now? So sorry Madam;

(5) You got most of your to-be-posted things packed into a fairly decent looking box (we didn't find it as the recycle guys beat us to it, instead we had to fork out some dole to buy one) only to be told that they don't do any normal surface shipment and the only option was to post it via express courier which came up to the same amount of the value of the contents;

(6) The box ends up sitting idle in the corner, awaiting its faith because apparently Malaysian Post needs the box to be tied by a string (any version looking looking like a knot will do) because the very expensive double-taped borders will absolutely not hold in the long, perilous journey to Australia... well, you guys are the expert;

(7)  After endless rounds of driving (we probably had covered more than 1,500km in the last two weekends) we found that we were just not finishing covering all the names and places that we need to meet and greet;

(8) The laundry just never ends;

(9) We still have rubbish to throw out from the bins of things we sorted out; but

(10) The day ends well when you have your hubby's young cousin who had always been a shy violet, now opening up to you (we are talking head leaning on your shoulder, wanting to show you two 15-minute Youtube videos on sea waves because "you are important", coming for a post-bath cuddle, and insisting to do the Waka Waka dance for you) and telling you that you smell heavenly from your shower...

... the day's ended pretty good after all.

And yes, we did finally get all the addresses updated, bank drafts done, and I even got to have a few moments of bliss because somehow, the schedule had a way to work itself out and it is looking to be a chill-out night where we hang with the kids for some home cooked food and a  predictable rendition of Nicholas Cage doing the Sorcerer's Apprentice.

All My Christmassy Love To Y'all!

 As I sit here in peace enjoying the quiet fall of rain in our "snowy winter wonderland" at my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's home (where we are celebrating Christmas this year), I am so grateful as my year ends with such meaning.

Hubby and I, singing to some jazzy old traditional Christmas songs while the most delicious French whiffs come oozing out from the kitchen with all the love and hard work of dear loved ones coming together to fuss over each other (even our little one isn't missing out of the fun as sister-in-law has bought a bottle of sparkling grape to toast!) with great company, home comfort and heaps of love, laughter and hugs as we spoil each other with gifts and the odd pop from the cork.

I've celebrated many a Christmas in forms of all and for one thing, this is one that I will always remember and with fond hope to the rest that are to come in the future.

God bless, Merry Christmas and a glorious New Year to all!

Playing The Backyard Tourist

The drive took us up North on a misty day akin to one that had experienced a night-full of rain fall that only the blessed states of Malaysia could call normal. All along the highway we had our breath taken away by the simplest of Mother Nature's splendid spread of green and all things natural.

Rolling hills blended in with the towering mountainous horizons where your mind dreamed away into the calls of the elusive wild. The late morning sun hid modestly amongst the blanket of mist which lent a touch of whimsical to the throngs of traffic headed both ways. As we headed towards the island of Penang, we crossed first into the the great state of Perak in which we were transported back to our times in Yang Shuo, what not with the same protrusions of limestone that laid in front of us making all that seemed surrealistically holy so reachable yet far away enough to remain in an untouchable pristine condition. These rock-like camel humps, eagle heads, ancient coins resembled the many wonderful sculptures similar to the treasures off Koh Phi Phi's coastal territory.

A journey up to Penang is not just about the glorious food, its World UNESCO heritage status, the history, the mind-blowing assimilation of multiculturalism, and family. It was truly a trip in which the journey was made so much more meaningful because of its richness along the way as the highways cut through thoughtfully fields of pineapples, villages dotting acres of virgin green rice patches, traditional names bestowed upon our rivers like "Sungai Badak Mati" and innocently naughty ones for small famous towns like " Batang Berjuntai" (literally suggestive of something long, hard and jutting out in a provocative dangling manner... sorry mum) to the odd spotting of wild cats amongst the bursting crowds of banana trees and sombre stalks of bamboo covering the silhouette of water buffaloes swaggering back to their atap huts like leathery tanks retreating after a day's hard work in the muddy ponds.

Seeing for the first time something in your own backyard can be refreshingly stimulating when you drop the odd old critical glasses and throw yourself fully into a cove of treasures like a four-year old would in the playground. We did, and we saw so much more than all the school books tried to teach us in the many years in school.

Bless you Penang, my old dame. You rock and you are truly what a "One Malaysia" is about in all respect.

You can't begin Penang without a proper meal - bring on the Masala!

Literally, "we got everything"...

Music video on this street is seriously a religion

Catching some local lads... wait a minute - it's actually my hubby and my thambi!!!

Always a friendly face at every corner

The Waiting Game

How much time do you set aside each day to play this game? We wait for just a few more minutes on the snooze button. We lumber along to sit on the porcelain throne. More minutes invested to wait for the toast to get it just right the second time.

Some like to warm up the car's engine. Mindless turning of the pages as you pretend to importantly catch up with the latest headlines in your train ride. Queuing up for that cup of takeaway Espresso. You lazily turn and watch in a sort of indifferent numbness at the snaking lines of cabs, cars, buses and cyclists all waiting for the lights. Sometimes green doesn't bestow any mercy should the peak hours get slightly too temperamental and you guess it, more waiting gets into the pipeline.

Oh you reach the office finally? Well done! Now, welcome to your second phase of waiting. The lift, the endless floors, your computer to boot up, your 0900 meeting. Should be a normal day before lunch time.

Anyway we face it, waiting is an impending game disastrously recognised as a required pest of modern times. I am pretty sure I can intelligently guess that there must had been some form of waiting in the primitive times but I can hardly be pressed to put together the vision of a caveman sitting with deathly focus upon the hunt swapping for the mindless "purpose-driven" lifestyle brought upon humanity by the convenience of invention and engineering.

Do we feel important waiting? Like I'm really-busy-can't-you-see waiting for my moronic nincompoop of a boss that serves a higher ambition in their lives in serving a permanent sentence to make sure we wait along the coffee which is getting stale in a cup inside that oh-so-important-glossy corporate meeting room. It's okay that I feel like an idiot but at least, hey, I look kind of important to the passing tea lady at the end of the corridor, right?

Or how about waiting for an unrequited love? Or chickening out in telling that girl of your dreams about how you feel despite all the self-help books cheering you on? What about the grieving spouse outside the operating theatre? How does one measure the patience of a mother yearning for the return of the prodigal son from his overseas studies?

Our dogs are waiting for their flight out into Australia to begin their 30-night quarantine. I must admit I'm already feeling the impending pang of emotions swirling somewhere between my throat and my brains. I miss them already even before they are on that plane! You do try to sneak in as many walks, snuggles, eye contact and silly moments of play as if the wait will be over. And for many of our family members, some of them had already turn the pages of goodbye with the silver linings of memories that these two amazing characters have brought into everyone's lives.

So maybe it's true. Some waits are important as they are in that moment. Waiting can be as fleeting as a passing moment that usually gets snuffed away like a dying flame when we are too busy moving on to pause and appreciate what real, meaningful waiting can translate into sometimes, some kind of a wonderful.

What A Visitor

Or shall I say who? Well, turned out the person that I walked right into performing that night at Nuforico's was a good ol' backpacker mate we last caught up with in the chaos of Bishkek, Travis - the Chicago trained legal eagle with the deft strummers working the double bass he called his fingers. Hard-core smoker (think Camel, none of those filtered lights) and one to hold his drink beyond his palm.

It was such a surprise and what a performance too. Seeing Travis was like pinching your cheeks and confirming with a solemn nod that those crazy days up in the Sakura Inn was real. The dingy kitchen with the small turning radius and rotting basket of ginger and garlic was all not a figment of my imagination. That guy with the weird MJ hat who spoke perfect Tokyo-centric Japanese was a living creature. The lime green empty pool which the inn's owner's drunk husband spent his sober days scrubbing off those barnacles (they looked like it, so I decided to call them Chlorine Barnies) was well, very lime green and very empty.

We had established contacts with friends and rushed through a hectic drive down to Singapore, ate heaps of funny versions of the usual served fresh by our cousins from across the bridge, cringed through pedantic traffic and parking rules, survived the constant threat of fines, and ran through the "So, how does it feel to be back home after all these time?" with so much grace that I reckoned we would impress the Pope himself.

"You must have travelled around the world, huh?"

"Aren't you afraid of starting all over again?"

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Do you have a job yet?"

 "Are you going to do it again?"

"Well done!"

"I admire you guys"

It's been one unbelievable page turner and seeing Travis, sharing messages with our mates who had concluded and / or continuing their adventures (thanks Facebook!) really led us to grasp the intensity of what we had done and also understood the bewilderment from the response to what we had done.

I suppose my short answer to the range of responses / questions (open-ended or otherwise) is the spirit of the travel is very truly alive even today. With the series of events that popped their heads into our weeks back I had gone through my own tumultuous path of rediscovering new facets of myself, learning new ideas, weaning off old ones (yes, you thought you would have shed them all behind when you were collecting visa chops on your passport!) and working through the at times, tiring but satisfying journey of making our way to Australia. It's one way of knowing that I am not zipping off an old life away for the new. This is very much a new me that's embracing the excitement of moving into a new phase of my life, redefining womanhood and the impending role of motherhood and the maturing of being a wife, getting a new opportunity to learn in a fresh career, finally hunting down that nest, sort of taking a slow enjoyable time pacing out the layers of paint of my favourite canvas while standing in the middle of a blooming poppy field... oh yeah, and my personalised picnic basket two steps away.

So, it all actually did happen huh?

And soon enough, who knows, maybe that poppy field picnic basket can happen too.