Mulling Over A Hangover

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

- Frank Sinatra, USA

We danced up a storm last night and it was pretty good fun. I just didn't remember that Cabernet Sauvignon from the McLaren Vale could be that potent!

This morning, I need a good bowl of my local Chinese dried noodles with steamed chicken, some siew pau, and a shower - in that order.

I Have Been PS_CS3-ed

The way out is the way through.

- L. Ron Hubbard, USA

Self tutoring is damn hard business. I am zonked, flattened, so ready for a glass of decent wine.

But I did it!

Self pat on the back, thank you very much.

All Dogs Go To Heaven

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.

You are his life, his love, his leader.

He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.

You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.

- Unknown

Today the world knew about the passing of Vai, the rottweiler. Today would have been Vai's 13th birthday. He was such a soul that never allowed his physically challenged companion / leader / master to wallow in the depressive pits of his physical limitations and the imbecile nature of the rest of the world who looked down upon those who have to face such unique experiences.

Being a fervent dog lover myself, I never see myself as being the "superior" one of the pack, except that for the well being of my furry mutts, I choose to adopt a leadership role that is worthy and able to command respect from my loyal members. We roamed the halls and fields everyday, fresh water is topped up religiously, relief areas are kept cleaned, they are taken through their own hours of play and training, the three of us live in our world depending on each other. One accompanies me everywhere I go, the other is one big loving pillow that melts your heart's rules on snacking outside of snack hours. I don't let myself slack because I know my dogs depend on me. I pick myself up because my dogs depend on me. In return, they faithfully guard me (despite their sizes) and warn me of any irregularities around the house. We play together, we snuggle up together (on the floor, they know beds are off limits) and they help to grow in me the pride that comes with being meaningful towards a cause, towards something for someone or something.

Vai lived on in the setting up of Petpositive, an animal assisted therapy for the physically challenged and elderly. In a funny coincidence, we plan to take in a third dog once we are settled in Melbourne, and it was going to be a rottweiler. Both my brother-in-laws have two loving rotties that simply are the most beautiful creatures ever. There goes the saying, there isn't a bad dog breed, just bad owners. And if I may add on that, there is no really one dog owner, we never own our dogs. We are their life-long companion and we serve to lead, to what is worthy of their devotion.

Somethings Are Perfect

Love isn't finding the perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

- Sam Keen, USA

How often have you been told to not pursue, or aim for perfection? Hands up, be honest. And how often you believe that, only to be told later (very much later when the results are out) that you "could have done better"? How many of you grew up with that neurosis and couldn't shake it off?

And how many of you take years to stop beating yourself up for it?

I had a perfect day. It was quiet, nicely warm in the morning. One of those days which you could delight in the rare incidence that one can observe silence and hear the real sounds of life. It started raining lightly after I took my shower post-10K sprint on my bike. I felt light, I felt myself. It's sort of a peace you get once you stop running away or towards something. I admit sweating off in a workout allows me the luxury of shedding off things that I have deemed imperfect. Just like a snake shedding its skin, I grow outside of myself by doing this methodologically. It just works and I stick to it.

Tiresome. Tedious. Insipid. That's how it has been like. I have selected this particular shot I took in the lazy arvo of Hoi An last year. Others may not see its perfection albeit picking on its imperfections. There may be a lot but to me, I have, to my still developing, photography-trained eye, I love this shot. It felt balanced, the colours were comforting, it has an uplifting feel to it, I admire my subject's love of and focus on reading. The pursuit, relentlessly, of something that you like to know through the simple lines of words. I love how I could capture this moment without interrupting his.

It's perfect.

So you see? I'm still working on shedding the pursuit of perfection but you just keep on going.

Love,

Confessions of a perfectionist (on the rehab!)

The Great Escape

We all try to escape pain and death, while we seek what is pleasant.

- Albert Einstein, Germany

And you betcha Bertie Boy! Got a call from my brother-in-law who sounded high on a fix-it-man with a victorious conquer over the green house he built for his wife's vegetable patch, all the way from easy, breezy, beautiful Kota Kinabalu (thank you Covergirl). We watched some Chinese Lunar Year coverage of Southern China's Cantonese cuisine on the Travel & Living Channel (more depressing, caged nightingale feelings).

We just want to get out to the jungles again. Step our urban-weary toes onto riverbeds. We need to get out there. This is an S.O.S. for urban-stressed folks!

Food Diary: Dessert

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.

- Angela Monet, Remains to be known

Desserts are symbolic to any diner as being the most common way to finish off a well prepared dining experience. Many could opt for a nice brew of coffee (or tea?), while many a slimmer would delicately select a slice of fruit, while others (and hail the French!) for a take on the rich and seductively insane (but all worth it if only we live once), while the corporate biggies have fashioned up mint slices with brandy (?), while I, depending on my mood, never say no to a nice glass of wine to just tie things up.

After all, isn't it a personal choice?

This entry concludes an enjoyable session of relaying my day-to-day musings with my food shots. Quite an eye opener to frame my thoughts using the unusual subjects that many just tuck into their mouths daily without stopping to contemplate. But then again, many couldn't really afford the luxury of time to do so, or so they convince themselves?

I thank you in enjoying (following) this column and I hope in time, I can come up with something again. Today marks the first day of the Earth Ox year in the Chinese calendar, and also a dual eclipse (double jeopardy?), and the most quiet one I have ever had in years. In the arvo walk I took with my beloved and the dogs, I finally gave myself the "ok", the permission, the ticket, to pursue my every day for the rest of life in the simplest and the most wholesome way possible.

Does this sound like a new year's resolution? I don't know but I know that just like your dessert choice, you take something that may divert from the mainstream, yet if you know that is the most honest choice you have made, it will be, and life will be, tasting the sweetest that you ever could dream of. Dreams will be bigger and achieved.

Go on, take it on. You may even like it.

Food Diary: Starch

Give us this day our daily bread.

- Matthew 6:11, King James Bible

Love it or hate it, soft fresh bread from the oven holds an inner secret of moist first-love. Nothing represents the frailty and plainness of living when one breaks break. The joy of tasting its dough beneath a crusty shell. The aroma of 3-day old bread being reinvented, resurrected by the kitchen's old toaster. As we all gather tonight, Chinese and all who celebrate the reunion of our dearest and furthest, I wish you - live well, love well, and eat well!

Food Diary: Eat So That Others Can

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

- Mae West, USA

From all my travels, I have experienced the most exquisite and the simplest. Yet the joy of trying something that excited the palate also reminded me of the most basic of needs - to survive. Some of the best cuisines that I have tried were also of the most spartan ingredients. I paid way below what I thought a bowl of noodles or a plain plate of rice should cost yet the vendor would never waste another minute to bask in my adoration. Life went on in its daily, consistent crunch. As another wipe with the crumpled handkerchief took off the beads of sweat building like fat drips of honey on the forehead, another person paid for their food.

Food Diary: The Humble Green

A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament.

- Oscar Wilde, Ireland

Be unique, be you... or so they say about living up to that elusive evergreen dream. Yet the matter of fact is that we are all of the same substance.

Then as we all behaved in the best and worst of our ways, do we all appear unique in our own ways? Why some find comfort in blending in? Why are some envious if you stand out?

Is being unique that important? Do we know what it means to be unique? Why do we yearn to be unique to a unique someone in our lives? Is it because it is so painful to not be extraordinary, noteworthy, unequalled, peerless, rare, one-in-a-lifetime experience?

Then why some hate to be peculiar, exclusive, incomparable?

Food Diary: Finish Your Greens! (Or So Mum Said)

It ain't easy being green.

- Unknown

How many shades of green have you been? It's one of my most favourite unusual colours. Is the colour of global economic exchange tinged with the colour of green? Is it hip being green? Does being a greenie mean you are environmentally conscious?

Why should we kids finish our greens? Why is green the colour of peace? Why is it even "green" as a colour?

I don't know but green keeps appearing in my composition. Maybe it isn't easy being green but it sure is cool being green.

Food Diary: You Are What You Eat (Believe)

Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.

- George Seaton, USA

I am not going to talk about the inauguration. I don't need to.

Obama from his heart showed me and the world. Lu from Taipei and a non-Top 10 ATP ranking (and his grit) showed me and all Australian Open 2009 fans. My own humble fingers danced across my Erhu intuitively showed me and my heart.

What faith can bring.

Food Diary: The Maze Of Sleep

You don't get nothing from sleep but a dream.

- Don King, USA

I was completely knocked out into the blue last night. It felt like a pleasant journey walking through the nocturnal forest, blind-folded but being led confidently by your earthly tired body, void of any imagination or the day's worries, and you floated gracefully above the misty dew of the grassy forest floor.

Then I saw the waters rising from nowhere of a sudden. I looked down and saw the low floor had opened up into a crater, and there were crocodiles. Every where, swimming in a hoax of laziness, as if I would believe their pretension of friendliness would led myself with the water to nestle in that nest of spiky skins, fangs, and reptilian eyes. All staring with the intent of taking.

I awoke thinking that I had a restful sleep, without a dream.

Food Diary: Contentment Is Happiness

Should I... grin like the Cheshire Cat?

- Author, Home

I cycled 10Km today. Dog tired but I think I will grin "Cheshirishly".

Vivien is currently thinking of Singapore, especially the Hyatt.

Food Diary: For That Special One

We are all special cases.

- Albert Camus, France

We went to that special place again this arvo. I was, of course, a bit nervous.

As I have mentioned previously, this was a humbling place and I met very remarkable beings that came into this world just like you and me. Yet they offered me a kind of warmth that was completely void of pretension - something that was not so common anymore in this town.

Our introduction started off slow but it grew beyond that small hall cooled down by a slow ceiling fan, into the field outside where we played basketball and soccer, all done from one old soccer ball. Shared and showed off some biking skills from donated pre-loved bicycles, kicked an offside shot into the storm drain, only to be rescued by our very popular and dashing Big Brother (smile), which then the secrets of our little heroes climbing out before, defying the house's rules and getting sin-binned, came out.

They all shared what was offered. Some still wakes up in the middle of the night crying for a place that caused them unjust pain and abuse - just because everybody longs for a place they can call home, even if it was hurtful.

When we go past the glitzy silverware, and if you pay attention to each single one, you will see clearly...

... that each one, is indeed a special one carrying a message for you.

That, itself, makes you one of them - a special one in your own special way.

Food Diary: Eat To Live Forever?

They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.

- Oscar Wilde, Ireland

Do you believe in forever?

What if Lennon was right and we don't have to imagine there is no religion? Does that mean there is no forever? What is it and why do we want it?

If you have something you want so badly, why do you want it to last forever? Why does "death do us apart" seem so sad? Why do we seek an assurance that somehow, through religion or otherwise, that we can possess what we have now, in the beyond?

I already have my forever, now.

I don't care if it is not "perfect". I only want what is perfect for us, and what we can call "ours" and "mine".

In that, we already have forever.

Food Diary: For Thought (Indeed)

Keep high aspirations, moderate expectations, and small needs.

- William Howard Stein, USA

How many ways can you shoot (through the lens) the humble apple?

I tried, and found that I haven't showed its beauty completely. There is the speckled skin up close, the legs of the external root on the bottom, the wrinkled edge on the bumpy sides (turn your apple upside down), the fleshy inner core, and if I could ever capture it - its smell.

Try as I could, the tiny innocent fruit remains a small parcel holding many an untold beauty. Then is its form and substance perceived limited by what we expected out of it? Or what do we expect from ourselves when we perceive something so (on the outset) simple?

This morning was a special day. We went to a place that open up a new path that will challenge how we react towards a new environment. It will tease us to approach a subject matter without expectations on the other party, but be subjected to theirs. We come forward with what we can offer in all honesty, and learn to inspire instead of tell.

I think we will, in the end, learn to unlearn a lot of preconceived expectations, both on others, and most of all, on ourselves.

Food Diary: Juggle The Balance

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

- Fran Lebowitz, USA

Not to worry, I am not embarking on turning this blog into a diet-centric one-stop nail-in-your-heart centre. Nothing more boring, in my own opinion.

Balance. That word, usually found in all food and dietary literature. Walk down the aisle and turn to the "self help", you get your Deepak Chopra and the likes, propagating about the balance of mind, soul and all of the world's wealth will be yours!

Is balance a matter of the equilibrium of two matters? Is balance as simple as tweaking the tonality of a photograph to achieve eye-pleasing effects? Is balance a happy person?

I have decided to stop myself from going onto the third day of real estate reconnaissance, as I know I have been slacking on finding myself a place to stay in Holland in my Europe backpacking adventure later this year (I am convincing myself that I can sleep on one of the benches in the train station... that is how lazy I am!). Am I making balance?

Question is - can I?

Food Diary: The Dirty D Word

The only time to eat diet food is while you are waiting for the steak to cook.

- Julia Child, USA

And so I found that poor, miserable looking Granny Smith staring back at me. I mentioned that I will start to look up my food shots and surprisingly, dug up some yummies. Although I did nothing of searing up some juicy moo on the pan last night (we went Japanese instead, the sinful selection "tempura, yes, sashimi - next time!), I would probably not demean my poor little green apple to the status of a creature (yes) less than the worth of quenching the lust for fat, sugar, and salt.

I suggest that you slice them up for your decadent grilled honey chicken with greens, sprinkle a generous amount of pine nuts, crack open a bottle of Dienhard's Reisling 2007.

And if you're luckier, you may even get some compliments for that ingenious green apple addition.

Simple Truth Of The Day

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

- Oscar Wilde, Ireland

The truth is, I am nursing a headache with a glass of coke (the drink again, silly) and chocolates (no branding here, I'm running on a lean budget). It just struck me to put together a project of shots for food items... I'll scurry off to my thinking corner and work it out.

In the mean time, the day is sunny and breezy. I am feeling likewise. Funny how things look the same yet feel so different. I am actually, feeling more alive than I have been for a while. In short, I am really looking forward to the move to Australia, and with things going well, it will be Melbourne that we'll be calling home.

I will never want to leave.

My New Family

Babies are such a nice way to start people.

- Don Herold, USA

These are mes petits enfants, all children of Sophie's (my latest sister-in-law) siblings & respective spouses. They are simply beautiful and if I may say so, enough to make one go a bit all maternal!

As I write this entry while the hot arvo brings some respite in the rain, I keep thinking and visualising on how France would be in late May this year? I am very excited about the trip, though I will miss my beloved for loads until he joins me later in the trip. On the other side of the coin, I am feeling very adventurous and look forward to backpacking around Europe for two months. This, I tell myself, will be a trip well deserved before I embark on the madness of planning to relocate to Australia in the second half of the year. All good though!

First off will probably be spending heaps of time exploring France alone. Then Holland. The rest of Eastern Europe and Istanbul will be after the wedding, I can't possibly imagine having all the fun alone. To share does double up the fun.

So when I received this email from France, I was pleasantly up the clouds! It's funny how sometimes new family members are added into your life. Just like that. Right this moment, I feel very blessed.

Virtue

Patience can conquer destiny.

- Irish saying

But right now, I'm not quite willing to wait to fulfill my destiny! Sigh... frankly speaking, if I have my way, I would have been leaving this place right now, packing it all up and move. Pronto. Done.

But again, it is not my own destiny that is in question here. My own has (and happily so) become "our destiny".

So what do I wish for us both?

That we achieve a perfect balance in a new challenging environment. That the right works together with the left and support each other through and through. That we relish every sunrise and every sunset.

That we set forth to embrace a newer future. Beginning now. Counting down!

The Great Outback Countdown Begins!

You beaut!

- Author, Home

Got the best news I have been waiting for in over two and a half years counting. We are packing it all up and heading to Australia. Gentlemen, start your engine and get the process rolling!

Chinese Peaches, Peonies, and All That Pom

Melancholy is the pleasure of feeling sad.

- Victor Hugo, France

Ah, so beautiful, so despondent. Almost feeling the French Revolution beheading!

But being melancholic today I am not! In fact, I am having one of those days when you just want to be a rebel, to do all that you aren't supposed to, like stick your nose with that finger, right in front of the public. Now, how gratifying is that? I think the satisfaction comes from just breaking the rules. Some people relish in it, others are fazed by it.

Not that I am going to throw on my coat and run out in front of everyone, and pick my nose. But I am just feeling all dangerous, all so-kicking-your-heels and dancing to a really loud, boisterous soundtrack.

Maybe I feel really super for a moment, despite being grilled by my (good intentions and all that) violin teacher for not playing the full bow enough, for not letting the sounds of the strings come out enough, for crossing my strings, for everything that I am almost beginning to feel that she is looking and behaving more like that witch of a piano teacher I use to have when I was young. I mean, scoffing off any Baroque-ish inclination, I think by going "your G-string!" numerous times and "down bow, up bow!" while I am really trying my best to play Scarborough Fair again as perfectly as I could, is just damn pissing me off...

Sigh.

I know, I should be in an uplifted mood but I am counting on my stubborn character to stick through this difficult patch. I mean, it's all great that I am playing more pieces but they are all so darn hard. But again, easy bores me too fast. So I just have to bear my guru of "G-string" holler (horror).

So why feel all that peachy and rosy? All that superwoman?

Because my erhu teacher told me to skip straight to a Grade 2 examination! How fantastic is that now?

Things are going pretty well in that department, I am advancing through my pieces very fast and my daily practice is showing through. I love it. I love this feeling. I am simply, besotted!

Music, it is truly with all its good, the bad, and the ugly. Like they say, live to fight another day! I'll just share this with you all as I am with myself. Enjoy, and just never, ever give up.

Serendipity

Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient.

- Aristotle, Greece

At times I miss the heaviness of those big weighted philosophers of the past. Can you get more serious than the Big Man A himself? Well, maybe Plato could have a say in it but I reckon tutoring Alex couldn't be that bad, could it?

But these words resonate pretty in tune with me today. I was reflecting on a non-action being a choice or type of action, thus leading one to think about what your priorities may be. Yet by chance, a nice breezy walk in the evening with my most loved led me to see the silver lining.

Realising it is only the beginning part. Living it consistently is the test of my mettle.

But finally knowing what has been bothering me and knowing what to do about it does bring a lot of relief to myself. I'm avoiding what may sound like a diary entry (heaven forbids!) but what I like to share is this:

Find a path that allows you to be rock steady, irrespective of what life throws at you. Do not condemn yourself to a designated path that is completely inflexible for eternity. I choose to embrace a blank canvas as my "path". This allows me to focus on being happy and content in just being... me. The "me" now is sufficient. This frees me to set out to achieve anything that I want without any naysaying in my head, lets me flow fluidly like a steady stream. I have learned that just because a river flows silently doesn't mean there isn't anything worthy of life growing in it. This, I find, gives me the ability to incorporate wisely whatever that may be external factors that affect my life onwards, and to handle life in a dignified and respectable, meaningful manner.

I hope this sets you the opening field to run as free as you like. Starting right now.

Much Ado About Something

Action expresses priorities.

- Mahatma Gandhi, India

Thoughtful words there by a selfless man. In a life that one is constantly hurried to make decisions and translate them to actions, how many amongst us understands our priorities? Or how many of us are lost in between all those hurry to make or do something?

Would then, a non-action be equated as a non-priority?

Sometimes I struggle to understand that balance. Since young, I have been coached to run after the things ahead of me. Any slack of pace was met with disapproval, yet when you got too over yourself, you were your own undoing. If action meant priorities, then could I have been wrong about mine? Or was I so confused with trying to do too many things that I ended up being unclear of what I should be doing?

Not that I grew up in a haze but it's just that I took a retake at myself at this point and asked if I was able to make any difference in what the phrase "living consciously" meant to me. If that is so much of how much love you show yourself, then does that reflect on how little or how much you do, on yourself? When is it "too much" or "too little", or even more ironic, "just enough"?

With people telling me that I should not be too ambitious, yet at the same time when I slow my gears that I was told by the same people that I should "take more ownership" of my daily schedule, simply was getting to be a bore. "Rise above the rest, set a good example".

Honestly, I am tired. And confused.

I took time out today to not drive my head to analyse or think it through. I worked out to a good state, I ate a good breakfast, I enjoyed my time alone. If relaxing and not doing anything are showing my priorities (whatever they are), they could be good or bad, aren't they?

It can't be all that bad if what my actions are, are so different from what you expected, can it? Just as how I feel is exactly like how it is being depicted by my choice of shot of the day, so is my life and thoughts. A constant tug-of-war of shoulds and should nots.

But I don't want the closing shadows of the dying sun to eclipse the beauty of what I can do. I just want to opt out of the chaos, the crowded opinions around me. I just want to not do anything overly ostentatious nor be a plain Jane.

If actions are priorities, then thoughts are your values. That, I may think, that even the great Gandhi would agree, wouldn't he?

Staying Grounded To Yourself

The state of severance of union with sorrow is known by the name of yoga.

- Bhagavad Gita, India

I have always naturally found an affinity with Vrksasana since the beginning, even before I knew how to do a downward-facing dog pose (a what?). In the sea of faithful students who embrace the dog, I choose to stand firmly and find my grounding from Tadasana, strong and steady like a mountain before I embrace my love of the tree pose.

It never has been easy and still today, remains a challenge for me to perfect the art of enjoying my downward-facing dog pose, although I am loving the upward-facing version. For a while I felt as if something was wrong with me, "was I not feeling the peace?" enough kind of mode to grasp at the question running through my mind - why was it so hard for me to master the downward-facing dog when the others around me are barking it out proudly?

Then I realise that some asana are meant for me. Some come naturally and I find that in the sea of swaying trees, mine was the strongest one. Unwaveringly focused, serene, the union of opposite pulling forces from heaven above, and the earth below, reinforced and supported by the energy I received from around me as I bowed my head in reverence to my honouring myself.

Thus, I found my own happiness. Namaste.

My Best Shots of 2008 (Volume Trois)

Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen.

- Mark Twain, USA

Sometimes it is too easy to lose yourself in the hectic chaos, like a piece of misplaced luggage on the wrong conveyor belt. And stepping out makes it all that easy to find your own bearings again, to invigorate the soul, to remember what you have seen.

I see myself again from my travels.