Be a warrior and arise, great warrior arise.
- Bhagavad Gita, India
There is a set of Vedic questions that I meditate upon in response to the question "who am I?".
"I am not my body
I am not my mind
I am not my emotions
Who, then, am I?"
If I may indulge in a moment of inspiration, Ralph Waldo Emerson also said that "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment".
It feels really indulgent to revel in such wisdom, especially when you have been laughed at when you expressed your desire to be a writer, instead of practicing full time in finance, when you are told on what gains are you going to make beyond selling stories under the bridge when you desire to be a painter, when you are told to learn the piano because it offers more "traditional" fundamentals even if it is the violin that you desired.
Is being a naturally born bohemian that much of a shame?
All my life I have molded myself to answer the desires of others, I left my dreams so that I may not provoke nightmarish sleeps of the coward, I turned my back on myself.
Ten years is really a lifetime when you stumbled upon the rocky road of life, when you finally knew that you could not lie to yourself anymore. I am pursuing my dreams, I am acknowledging my inner most desires, although at the same time, I am also harbouring a lot of bitterness towards those who had pulled me back so many times, so hardly.
Today a kind soul guided me to start my day tomorrow by positive reaffirmations. I will tell myself, confront myself in front of my image in the mirror, look into that woman's eyes and let her know that she is perfect, she is complete, and to not sway from her path. For it is those that are not privy to my dreams that cast a shadow upon my road. But what is living if we are to only exist within these shells?
I will open myself to the wisdom of meditation in a meeting I have made for next week. In the mean time, I searched for my inner goddess, and it was waiting for my calling. It answered and I knew that telling myself that I am good enough, is really enough by itself. Finding my own peace through the complimentary parallelism of mediation will be an extra bonus.
After all, whether we can or we can't, we are what we tell ourselves.
Think about it. Try it.
