Melancholy is the pleasure of feeling sad.
- Victor Hugo, France
Ah, so beautiful, so despondent. Almost feeling the French Revolution beheading!
But being melancholic today I am not! In fact, I am having one of those days when you just want to be a rebel, to do all that you aren't supposed to, like stick your nose with that finger, right in front of the public. Now, how gratifying is that? I think the satisfaction comes from just breaking the rules. Some people relish in it, others are fazed by it.
Not that I am going to throw on my coat and run out in front of everyone, and pick my nose. But I am just feeling all dangerous, all so-kicking-your-heels and dancing to a really loud, boisterous soundtrack.
Maybe I feel really super for a moment, despite being grilled by my (good intentions and all that) violin teacher for not playing the full bow enough, for not letting the sounds of the strings come out enough, for crossing my strings, for everything that I am almost beginning to feel that she is looking and behaving more like that witch of a piano teacher I use to have when I was young. I mean, scoffing off any Baroque-ish inclination, I think by going "your G-string!" numerous times and "down bow, up bow!" while I am really trying my best to play Scarborough Fair again as perfectly as I could, is just damn pissing me off...
Sigh.
I know, I should be in an uplifted mood but I am counting on my stubborn character to stick through this difficult patch. I mean, it's all great that I am playing more pieces but they are all so darn hard. But again, easy bores me too fast. So I just have to bear my guru of "G-string" holler (horror).
So why feel all that peachy and rosy? All that superwoman?
Because my erhu teacher told me to skip straight to a Grade 2 examination! How fantastic is that now?
Things are going pretty well in that department, I am advancing through my pieces very fast and my daily practice is showing through. I love it. I love this feeling. I am simply, besotted!
Music, it is truly with all its good, the bad, and the ugly. Like they say, live to fight another day! I'll just share this with you all as I am with myself. Enjoy, and just never, ever give up.
