Action expresses priorities.
- Mahatma Gandhi, India
Thoughtful words there by a selfless man. In a life that one is constantly hurried to make decisions and translate them to actions, how many amongst us understands our priorities? Or how many of us are lost in between all those hurry to make or do something?
Would then, a non-action be equated as a non-priority?
Sometimes I struggle to understand that balance. Since young, I have been coached to run after the things ahead of me. Any slack of pace was met with disapproval, yet when you got too over yourself, you were your own undoing. If action meant priorities, then could I have been wrong about mine? Or was I so confused with trying to do too many things that I ended up being unclear of what I should be doing?
Not that I grew up in a haze but it's just that I took a retake at myself at this point and asked if I was able to make any difference in what the phrase "living consciously" meant to me. If that is so much of how much love you show yourself, then does that reflect on how little or how much you do, on yourself? When is it "too much" or "too little", or even more ironic, "just enough"?
With people telling me that I should not be too ambitious, yet at the same time when I slow my gears that I was told by the same people that I should "take more ownership" of my daily schedule, simply was getting to be a bore. "Rise above the rest, set a good example".
Honestly, I am tired. And confused.
I took time out today to not drive my head to analyse or think it through. I worked out to a good state, I ate a good breakfast, I enjoyed my time alone. If relaxing and not doing anything are showing my priorities (whatever they are), they could be good or bad, aren't they?
It can't be all that bad if what my actions are, are so different from what you expected, can it? Just as how I feel is exactly like how it is being depicted by my choice of shot of the day, so is my life and thoughts. A constant tug-of-war of shoulds and should nots.
But I don't want the closing shadows of the dying sun to eclipse the beauty of what I can do. I just want to opt out of the chaos, the crowded opinions around me. I just want to not do anything overly ostentatious nor be a plain Jane.
If actions are priorities, then thoughts are your values. That, I may think, that even the great Gandhi would agree, wouldn't he?
