There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that you dare not start.
- Charles Baudelaire, France
I look back at felt at some points this year that there were some pit stops. Those were moments not so much for taking a breather even though it had been a spinning ride, but more for looking back and tracing each step. Do I know where I am going? I do and I should. I'm at point of ripening possibilities, almost like a good piece of roman tomato. Ready to be bunged up in the pan to fire up some character on an otherwise plain pan of naked spiralli.
Yes, I do feel a sense of urgency as well to push into my new territories. I know the exciting changes were inevitable and rather than risking not trying and not knowing, all twelve cylinders are fired up. I do need extra courage and comfort to keep going because at times I also sense the frailty of being a human.
But coming back from a cloudy morning at BC, one of the most sacred shrines in town, I was, to be honest, relieved to see the post production work I've done to be leading on to quite something of a wonderful. Whimsical, enchanting, charming. Maybe. But I don't think that's how I felt, rather I see that good things do wait for a while to result themselves. As I came down from those 200 over steps on an incredibly humid rainy morning, amidst other faithfuls young and old, I saw that in everything that I come to work on, even the longest one required an incubation period, if I may call it that way. Sort of like when nature allows everything to grow in its innate rhythm.
Oh do tell me that my life changes will hatch at just the right moment! I welcome any sort of gentle small pats on the back, as I have learned to see the beauty of smaller things in life this year. Some afternoons I had took the whole of yesterday. Giving birth to a new painting, a new piece of writing, a new note I string on my beloved violin, my erhu, blew on my saxophone, I cherish that great walls are built upon small bricks.
I want to achieve all of my greatest dreams. I want to give something good back to here. I guess it all starts with being brave to throw away all inhibitions and take life full on. I love where I'm at, I'm where I'm supposed to be. Now I know that I have to learn to slow down a bit, practice a bit of patience to allow the birth of my next step.
